How to Navigate A New Relationship with Self-Doubt
There is no greater power or connection than to be in harmony with oneself.
Whenever we disconnect from our power and truth, we begin to overcompensate for our insecurities. We start to think and believe that by abdicating our power and truth to someone or some entity we will feel that we are enough. In all of our people pleasing, compromising and striving for more, more and more, we lose sight of who we are. We begin to question ourselves and lose our self-trust. When we lose our self-trust, we doubt ourselves more and disconnect from our unique brand of awesome. When we disconnect from our unique brand of awesome, our potential begins to stagnate.
It is only when we find our courage to relate to self-doubt in a different way are we able to do what it takes in the face of self-doubt, fear and uncertainty to liberate our awesomeness and embrace who we are wholeheartedly.
Why is this important? Because our life is an answer to someone’s prayer. As we find the courage to shine our light, others will find the courage to do the same. If we want our life, the lives of those we love and care about, our community and nation to rise above the state of fear and scarcity that seems to be rampant in our world, we have to be the change we wish to see as Gandhi stated.
Like many of you, I’ve had seasons in my life when I felt as if I was unstoppable. Even in the midst of several major personal adversities, I was able to get my second wind through the Grace of God, mount up and bounce back from these experiences better, stronger and wiser. A few years ago, after successfully writing a few books and organizing a few leadership seminar series and having access to the wisdom of several mentors, I realized becoming a successful speaker, trainer and author required that I become more visible.
My intention with this article is to share recent challenges I've had with navigating self-doubt and some of the steps and lessons I'm learning as I expand the territory of my life, so that if you are struggling with self-doubt, I want you to know that you're not alone. Some of the most successful people in the world struggle with it as well. Yet, as I'm suggesting in this article, they've learned how to navigate healthy approaches to their insecurities and remain successful. We can do the same.
New Adventures? Embrace the Process vs the Outcome
Now you would think that someone who was able to work her way up through the ranks to become an award-winning leader of several million dollar businesses wouldn’t have a problem with being more visible. In addition, my experience of becoming the PR person for the Lamplighter’s Toastmasters club in Wilmington, NC, mentoring and developing a large number of leaders for the companies I worked for to organizing successful community service projects and completing an internship at Wilmington’s public radio station where I was the host of a 30 minute talk show should have been enough positive references for me to believe that I was prepared to take this next step in my professional career. But, it wasn’t.
Eighteen months later, I published my latest book, Get Unstuck Now. Soon after publishing it, I conducted a free seminar where I shared details from the book that would help those in attendance gain the clarity and focus to create a plan that would increase their ability to move forward and achieve their year-end goals. Several of the individuals purchased my book and were willing to provide me with initial feedback about the book.
Most of the feedback was favorable with a few suggestions on how to improve it. I received the feedback that was not favorable from the point of view that my career as an author will always be a work in progress. A funny thing happened as a result of my willingness to receive no-holds-barred feedback from these first readers of Get Unstuck Now. I realized that just like the manuscript of my book, Get Unstuck Now could be improved with revisions, my performance as a speaker, trainer and mentor will require continuous improvement to reach my full potential in these roles.
Remember to Remember the Challenges of Past Successes
I remembered all the rough edges I had as a first-time supervisor and manager. I was fortunate to have had managers who were committed to my success. They invested their time and energy and provided me with learning opportunities that helped me develop my leadership potential. I’ve always been a straight shooter. So, my managers had no problem providing me with constructive feedback about my performance on a regular basis. Their honesty helped me to see how many of my rough edges could limit my growth as a leader. Including, learning how to communicate in ways that engaged people versus tuning them out because of my youthful tendency of having little tact.
I didn’t allow my mistakes or imperfections stop me from pursuing my corporate leadership goals. I saw them as opportunities to stretch myself into becoming the leader I’d always believed I could be. The key difference was I believed in my ability to be a great leader. To get comfortable with being more visible as an author, speaker, trainer and mentor, I needed to believe in my ability to be successful in these roles.
So, I started investing in various online courses by well-known experts to gain the knowledge, develop the mindset and build a toolbox of skills and practices that would serve as a guide for navigating this professional path. These initial efforts of investing in myself helped me to understand the challenges I would face on this path, the actions I could take to overcome these challenges, and just as important, my initial training helped me to form my identity of being successful in these roles, on my terms. Now, I have a 12-month personal training and development calendar that requires me to budget monies on a quarterly basis for training that I believe will only improve my performance in these roles.
As a result of conducting my Get Unstuck Now case study last year and saying “Yes” to several free speaking engagements earlier this year, I have booked several paid speaking engagements this summer and in the fall that position me in front of diverse audiences who represent organizations or segments within an organization that need speakers for their events.
I’m learning how to utilize email marketing to engage my online community, Grow Forward & Flourish. Something, I thought for the longest I would never be able to figure out. I’m reaching out to personal development and leadership experts and forming relationships that could someday result in collaborative projects.
I’ve recently started re-purposing my blog articles into video and audio training to expand my ability to add value to different audiences. You can check them out here. If you got any benefit from listening to my videos, subscribe to my You Tube channel to receive weekly updates. As I move forward in this uncharted territory, I'm looking forward to how I will be able to use modern technology to build a flourishing online community and business.
In an effort to share success stories of others, (which is what my GFF community would like to see more of) I’m currently organizing the launch of my podcast, “Flip Your Script w/YourGirlJackieB” and writing my first E-course.
And, I’m excited about returning to work in a sales position with a company I’d worked for in the past. The information I’m learning to build my own business about new customer engagement practices, marketing and the delivery of unique value will help me provide my customers with an even better customer experience.
As a multi-passionate creative, I'm embracing my interests and passions to learn new technologies that will help me expand my core message, "Flip Your Script to Redefine What's Possible." My mission is simple, I plan to inspire, educate and empower a million people with strategies and tools that increase their self-belief and courage so that they liberate their awesomeness and become the change our world needs.
Fear is a part of our experiences, but it doesn’t have to dominate our experiences.”
The path to success is never a one-size fits all. When we start having the unction to step outside of our comfort zone, most of us will feel some degree of fear, uncertainty and self-doubt. What I’m learning on this adventure is this, just as I did with healing my heart wounds over the losses I’ve experienced, I must be willing to be vulnerable and embrace what I feel when embarking on new professional paths instead of resisting what I feel, so that the energy of the emotions causing me to question if I’m enough don’t stick to my soul like Krazy Glue. Instead, by allowing my feelings to be, there is no internal resistance within me and this helps me to release them quicker.
Our experiences are divinely guiding us to go deeper within ourselves so that we discover a greater measure of self-love. It’s great to have the support of others as we navigate new adventures, however, we should not position ourselves to need someone else’s permission before we decide to embody the fullness of our awesomeness. As we return to self-love, we begin to make the connection to the tremendous value we bring to our circle of influence. Our ability to express this value in our unique way causes our life to become an answer to someone’s prayer.
When we own who we are, we tap into the innate power within us to shift any paradigm about ourselves, including thoughts and feelings that attempt to have us believe we’re not enough. We are enough.
You are enough. Take baby steps to find your courage to pursue your “next big thing.” And as you do, your path and your awesomeness will be revealed with clarity. Clarity precedes mastery.
I would love to hear your thoughts on how you've navigated self-doubt. Share them in the comments below.
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Until Next Week, Redefine Your Possible!
Sending you lots of love and light