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How to Identify the Stories that's Drive Your Successes and Failures

Some of the things you believe were never true. They were someone else's fears. Give yourself a chance to examine your thoughts Change those that are negative.
You are deserving.
~Louise Hay~

In her book, Find Your Courage, Margie Warrell tells a story of a backpacking trip she took in her early 20s through Thailand. Her journey allowed her to spend time with many of the locals. One day, she noticed “the large elephants responsible for carrying lumber and transporting people through the jungle always stayed close by.” When she inquired about why they didn’t wander off, she was given the following explanation. “When an elephant is born, a chain is put around its leg tethering it to a small tree planted nearby to keep the animal from roaming. Because it is young and not yet very strong, it is unable to break the chain. However, as the years pass and the elephant grow it continues to live with the assumptions that are unable to move more than a few feet from the tree. In fact, though, the chain is no longer even attached to the tree, and all that is on the elephant is a thin metal bracelet. So, there you have a massive elephant, unaware that it is capable of traveling so much farther than in a circle a few feet from the tree to which it was tethered as a baby and living a much more confined existence than it necessarily has to live.”

What correlation does the story about the elephants bring to mind about your life? What are the invisible mental and emotional chains attached to the story you are telling yourself about why you are not able to achieve the level of success and happiness that you truly desire in life? How are these invisible chains confining you to an existence that is below your capacity to be, to do and experience better in life? Identifying the negative and limiting beliefs within the story that's driving you to accept less from yourself and life is a critical step to rewriting the script of any story that hinders you from experiencing your highest good in life. Awareness of the agreements that comprise of your present beliefs play a critical role in identifying the stories that's driving you and which of the stories that you tell yourself need to be transformed to increase your ability to manifest the happiness and success you desire to experience in life.

The Power of Your Agreements

In his book, The Law of Agreement, Tony Burroughs writes, “When we stop to consider that every belief system we have exists only because we agree on it. Indeed, our agreements are the building blocks of our realities; they are the very foundation upon which our beliefs are built. Not one belief, large or small would exist for long without our agreement.” Tune-in to the story that you are telling yourself about why you are not experiencing the happiness and success you desire. What are the beliefs and assumptions you are making about what is and is not possible in the situation? What factual evidence do you have that proves your beliefs and assumptions are true? In what ways are you agreeing to and reinforcing these beliefs and assumptions through your behavior? How have these beliefs and assumptions created internal roadblocks that hinder you from taking different actions which would increase your chance of manifesting better experiences in your life?

Burroughs points out, “Your agreement is your point of power, and you can add to or weaken any idea or commonly held belief simply by making a choice. We have within us, in each moment of our lives, the ability to discern- to decide whether something is working for us or not – and to choose to agree with it and make it stronger, or to say “Hey, I don’t think this is working for my highest good.” In order for you to exercise this power, you have to first, develop an awareness of your inner-states and second, take personal control of your life.
The following self-discovery questions will help you gain an awareness of the agreements you are making, consciously or unconsciously in your life, and how they are propelling your life forward or holding it back.
  1. In what areas of your life are you experiencing success? What are the agreements (the beliefs and ideas that you have bought into) that resulted in your ability to create success in these areas of your life?
  2. In what areas of your life are you experiencing frustration with your progress? What are the agreements (the beliefs and ideas that you have bought into) that are influencing your lack of progress in these areas of your life?
  3. In your past, what agreements (the beliefs and ideas that you bought into) enabled you to create success in various areas of your life?
  4. In your past, what agreements (the beliefs and ideas that you bought into) influenced self-sabotaging behavior that limited your ability to make progress in various areas of your life?
  5. Identify the common agreements (the beliefs and ideas that you bought into) that inspires your success, in the past and present.
  6. Identify the common agreements (the beliefs and ideas that you bought into) which have influenced your lack of progress, in the past and present.
  7. Is the agreement that has influenced your lack of progress based on facts (true or false, objective, beyond dispute and verifiable) or an opinion (an observation rather than an objective reality, either valid or invalid based on the perspective of the opinion holder, can be found to be invalid, if there is lack of evidence to support its validity)?
Any time you begin to initiate actions that challenge the status quo, you will experience resistance within you and from those accustomed to you being a certain way. Expect it. Do not get upset about it. It is a part of the journey of becoming who you are divinely designed to be. It's important for you to take action everyday towards what you desire. Before lending your agreement to any belief, ask yourself, “Will this belief add to my well-being?” Get into agreement with beliefs that inspire you to improve the quality of your life. They will inspire you to initiate the purpose-driven actions necessary to manifest more of what you want in life.

Thank you for being a part of the growing readership of Grow Forward & Flourish. I'm always seeking ways to improve the experience of community members, so your feedback and suggestions are welcomed. I appreciate you sharing this article with your network.

Unleash Your Power!
Jackie Capers-Brown

Founder, Grow Forward & Flourish

Note: This article is an excerpt from my book, Get Unstuck Now which is available as on You can get more details about the Kindle version  here and the paperback here.

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