Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
From the first moment that I heard the song, "Happy" by Pharrell Williams, I knew from the rush of happiness I felt from hearing it throughout that week, it was destined to a #1 hit song. Since that moment, I've listened to "Happy" at least 3X a day. This developing habit of mine got me thinking about the subject of happiness and the energy that we exhibit towards our dreams and goals when we feel happy. With the recent publication of my new book, Get Unstuck Now and part of it's focus being on the fact that when we transform the story we tell ourselves about ourselves, our lives and experiences in such a way that they empower the strength at the core of our being, we tend to express more of our authentic power which leads us to be happier. It's really difficult to feel happy when you're feeling powerless over your circumstances, don't you think? On the other hand, when you're happy there's a spring in your step, you smile more, you're nicer and more patient towards others and even if everything isn't exactly the way that you want it, your ability to appreciate and be grateful for all the good that is happening in your life boosts your happy feelings.
The way we think about and define happiness influences the level of happiness we experience in life. The manner in which we internalize our experiences influence how we perceive our experiences. Your happy story is a reflection of the beliefs, perceptions and assumptions you've made during your lifetime about happiness. It creates the perception that defines what is happiness to you and whether you deserve to experience happiness. Take a moment and think about your happy experiences growing up and those that you have had as an adult. Consider how all of these collective experiences have created the story you tell yourself about the measure of happiness that you deserve and believe to be possible in your life. Transforming how you think about happiness, redefining the level of happiness that's possible in your life and taking concrete actions to harvest more happiness in your life will enable you to get your unique happy on.
Over a period of time, the story that you tell yourself about how happy you can become and what measure of happiness you are worthy of experiencing affects you in one or two ways: It empowers your sense of self-worth and confidence towards experiencing a greater measure of happiness in your life, OR it diminishes your sense of worthiness and confidence in living happy. If you are harboring pessimistic perspectives about the measure of happiness that you deserve or believe to be possible in your life, OR you want to elevate your level of happiness and joy, here's three actions that will help you get your happy on:
- Change Your Emotional Interpretation to Negative Experiences. We're all guilty of believing what we think about our experiences. So often, we fail to recognize that the interpretations of our experiences is not based so much on the circumstance, as it is on our emotional state at the time. Challenging the story that you are telling yourself about the measure of happiness that is possible in your life starts with gathering evidence that is contrary to any pessimistic perspective you may have towards your happiness. For example, is it a fact that “no one” could be happy if they were faced with your challenges OR is that an assumption you've made and decided to lend your agreement to it and make it a fact in your mind when it is really your opinion.
- Accept Your Imperfections. Self-acceptance is crucial to the level of happiness that you will experience in life. Accepting your flaws and imperfections reduce the inner-angst experienced by many people who have developed the habit of being their worst critics. I'm all for holding oneself accountable for the choices we make and the actions we take, however, I don't believe that we have to disrespect ourselves or diminish our sense of self-worth to make whatever “it” is happen. Demonstrating love and compassion towards yourself while holding yourself accountable for improving areas of your life that you know you can be better and do better goes a long way to healing the wounded parts of your soul and liberating it from the shackles of past hurts. As your soul is liberated by the healing of your heart wounds, you will begin to experience a greater sense of ease with a quiet determination to embrace and harvest happiness as a mainstay in your life.
- Happiness is A State of Mind. Happiness is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps you may have wondered to yourself how two friends involved in a relationship could be attracted to one another and fall in love. Happiness is a lot like two people who seem to be completely opposite falling in love, it is based on your internal maps or perceptions of reality and not so much on the facts of your circumstances. No one expects you to jump up and down with glee when bad things happen to you. That would be unrealistic. Your perspective on happiness defines what it feels like and looks like to you. It establishes your expectations as to whether you believe you can and will be happy, irregardless of your circumstances. Enlarging your perspective on how you define your unique take on happiness provides you with an opportunity to expand the possibilities of experiencing more happiness.
So often, people put off enjoying their present life because of the stories they tell themselves about when they expect to be happy, such as, “I'll be happy when I get my next promotion,” and “We're going to be happy once we move out of this apartment into a home.” These people are always delaying their happiness. You can only live in the present. There are too many variables in life that are beyond your control. Waiting until things line up just right in your life before you enjoy what is going well in your life robs you of precious gift of the present. This habit devalues what you're doing now. It's as if you're saying unconsciously that what you're doing now is not as important as the goal you are striving to attain. That should not be. The destination is not the gift. The journey of who you are becoming is the gift. This truth deserves your attention and commitment, so that you remember to make the most of now. Start by listening to "Happy" by Pharrell Williams. I've shared the video below. Take out time to enjoy your present moments and get your happy on!
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Unleash Your Power!
My new book, Get Unstuck Now provides you with proven strategies that strengthens your inner-game which increases the effectiveness of your outer game. the level of leadership success that you achieve.
Read Get Unstuck Now. It is available Amazon.com. You can get more details about the Kindle version here and the paperback here.