To win you've got to stay in the game.
~Claude M. Bristol~
Tuesday, August 22, 2013 marked the 18th anniversary of my son, Blease home going. On that day, I wrote the following as my Facebook status:
"Today, I focus on the beauty of my son's life. My heart is full of love. My heart is not consumed with sorry as it had been all the previous years. I miss him like crazy and would have been honored to see the man he would have become. He would have been 32 years old. I am blessed to have had the privilege of being the vessel used by God to give birth to his soul. I am blessed to be his mother. I am blessed by what his life AND his death taught me. I am blessed that he believed in Jesus. I am blessed that his love for me remains deep in my heart. And it is this "knowing" of his love for me and others and the power of the Holy Spirit that allows me this year to blessed with the ability to focus on the love we shared and the love that will always remain in my heart for him versus dwelling on my loss. The Spirit of God has done a work within me!!!!!!!! RIP Blease Capers Jr.~I will always love you!
I share this post for the purpose of validating the message that Joel Osteen shares in the video below. Many times when life throws us unexpected blows we have a tendency to pull off on the sidelines and become spectators of life vs. participators of life. The intention of posting the above message was to encourage hope and faith in the hearts and minds of those who have had to face some hurt or loss and to let them know that better days is possible.
I have admitted several times in various posts, here and here, how after the loss of my son, I put on my "strong, black female" social mask and attempted to disregard the emotions that I was feeling as a result of my loss. I'm sure you know that "whatever you resists, persists" and as a result I suffered panic attacks and acute hypertension, all of which my primary care doctor believed to be related to my emotional state at the time.
In spite of the award-winning success that I was experiencing at the time as the General Manager of Marriott's Fairfield Inn hotel located in Wilmington, NC, the accolades brought me little satisfaction. My failure to acknowledge the truth of what I was feeling ushered me into a mental and emotional hell that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
I'm writing this because in the process of conducting research on the topics of most interest to this community, I found that the most viewed posts on this blog, nearly fifty percent of them, are on the subject of emotions.
I think it is my responsibility to not only share ideas that will help you to grow and develop into your best self, it is also my responsibility to share resources available that can help people beyond my expertise.
Recently, one of my Facebook friends shared the following post:
For sure, my emotional pain from the loss of my son was a contributing factor to my illnesses considering I had always been one my mother's healthiest children. It took me some time to embrace my truth and begin my path of healing.
I recognize that had I sought help as to how to process my grief and emotions in a healthy way, I honestly believe that the number of years I spent majoring in "pity parties", consumed with anger and bitter and circling Mt. Misery would have been cut in half.
If you are or someone you know is having a difficult time processing emotional pain, I encourage you to contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) @ 1-800-950-6264 or by clicking here, and/or visiting Healthy Place by clicking here to get contact information on additional resources. You are not alone. Help is available.
Life continues to move forward even when we are consumed by loss and grief. In most of our cases, we don't have the luxury of closing ourselves completely off from life because we are faced with an unexpected adversity. In the midst of life's most difficult times, it is important that we maintain as much of our normal life as possible so that we can stay in the game.
In this week's In the Spirit, Joel Osteen shares in his message why it's important that we Stay In the Game when times get tough!
There has been many moments since the loss of my son where I wanted to give up. Then I think about how far I've come from my humble beginnings and all that I have already endured, just the thought of giving up makes me dig a little deeper within the well of strength residing in my spirit to keep pressing on.
Now that I am about to release my new book, Get Unstuck Now: Changing Your Story, Unleashes Your Power to Move On and Be Happy, I can look back now and see how all of the experiences that I have had has been preparing me to share this message in a way that will transform lives. Everything is working out for my good.
As you embark on this upcoming week consider how you can increase the sense of meaning and purpose in your life. If you have no idea where to start, check out the ideas I wrote about here.
You matter. God has a good plan for your life. This plan requires that you take action to stay in the game so that you are able to experience all of life's goodness available to you.
If I can be of service to you within my areas of expertise, please do not hesitate to contact me here. I will reply to you via email. It is my hope that I am contributing meaningful value in your life so that you find your courage to be your best self and live your best life.
I'll like to know your thoughts on this post. Share them in the comments below.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts so that we can grow together.
Thank you for sharing this post with your friends.
Until the next time remember to...
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. The information that I share on this blog falls within the category of self-help. Individuals seeking professional counseling are advised to contact their local mental health association.