Friday, March 29, 2013

7 Questions that Cultivate Authentic Connections



We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.”
~Herman Melville~


Many people struggle with achieving a sense of authentic connections with others. More often than not, we lack the mindfulness to consider how our behavior may be creating the distance or lack of connection that we feel with those in our sphere of influence. As we have discussed in the post, Personal Resilience 101: Accepting Oneself and Others, self-awareness improves our capacity to build and sustain stronger and supportive relationships.

In the book, The Power of Resilience, Robert Brooks PH.D and Sam Goldstein PH.D, suggest that we can improve the quality of our connections with questions. I am sharing the following seven questions from their list in the hopes that they will begin to help you get to the heart of how to create more meaningful connections with others.

1.    Who are the charismatic adults in your life today? (Charismatic adults are defined by the authors as “individuals who demonstrate with words and actions, “I believe in you and I will stand for you.”)


2.    What are the things that they say or do that make them charismatic adults?

3.    What people would list you as a charismatic adult in their lives?

4.    What do you say or do that would prompt them to call you a charismatic adult?

5.    If you were encountering some personal difficulty, who are the two or three people you turn to for help, and why would you feel comfortable turning to them?

6.    Who would turn to you for help and support? Why would they do so?

7.    As you think about the quality of your connections with others, what are one or two things you might change to feel more connected to others?

In the post, Personal Resilience 101: Connections and Compassion, I shared with readers how the quality of our relationships enables us to build and sustain a resilient lifestyle. Each of us know that life can change at any given moment. When we are faced with new challenges or unexpected adversity, it is our faith and resiliency that powers our capacity to bounce back. Our resiliency is not solely based on what we can do. It is also influenced by the strength and support that we receive from others. Increasing your capacity to build authentic connections with others ensures that you will have access to a diverse group of people who can offer you spiritual and emotional support as you rise above any challenge that life may bring your way.

 

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