Saturday, April 14, 2012

3 Tips to Being More Confident


Confidence comes from competence. It is not a gift that you can wish and hope for. I define competence as the ability to acquire and put to constructive use our strengths, skills and knowledge to achieve desired outcomes. The level of  competence we have towards a goal or overcoming a challenge in life influences our success in life. When we feel competent enough to accomplish a task, we approach the task with greater confidence. Our confidence generates a quiet assurance in our ability which in turn reinforces the belief that we are capable of taking on the task or challenge at hand.

Insulating ourselves from challenges or new experiences because we don’t feel comfortable fails to develop our competence and confidence to be more, do more and have more in life. Life throws curve balls. Hoping and expecting life to always be a bed of roses sets us up to fail at handling disappointments, frustrations and adversity. We do ourselves a disservice when we hold unrealistic expectations about life. 

We have to stop sending ourselves unconscious messages that we do not believe that we are capable and strong enough to handle what happens in life. We do this when we succumb to conflicting thoughts about our life and accept the “status quo” when it’s no longer working in our best interest. We have a tendency to undervalue what we can do because few of us have others to cheer for our success. That may be the case, but we do have a choice. We can decide that we will cheer for ourselves. We can decide to believe in ourselves.  We can decide to occupy the possibilities of our life. 





The following 3 Tips to Be Confident and Capable will help empower you forward:

1.Develop Realistic Expectations: To develop realistic expectations about life you have to develop a proper perspective towards your life and yourself. To do this, you must challenge the truth of assumptions you have about life that continue to create frustration, disappointment and setbacks in your life. Why? The assumptions you have about life influences the perceptions or lens by which you see yourself and the world. If the assumptions you have about yourself and life are a result of limited perceptions influenced by social conditioning you will most often approach life with a limited or scarcity mentality. Challenging the validity of your assumptions will expand your awareness of how much more you are capable of doing and what’s possible in your life. 

2.Cultivate Personal Excellence: It’s not enough to know what to do, the power of personal excellence is a result of what you do with what you know. What is the quality of your reputation as a result of your actions? Have you ever considered asking those closest to you what they think about your personal integrity and commitment to excellence? Each of us has blind spots about ourselves.

Keep your finger on the pause of the perception held by others about you. I’m not expecting for you to care about the opinions of everyone, just those that matter most to the life you are creating. This may seem harsh when you first read it, but give it some time. You will recognize that being overly concerned about what everyone thinks about you can become a full-time job. Everyone and their mother have an opinion. You’re not going to stop people from having an opinion or sharing it. What you can do is focus on producing high quality results, one after another, from the efforts you exhibit towards tasks and goals. After a while, even the cynics won’t have much to talk about and when they do no one will be paying much attention to them because the excellence of your results will speak for you.

3.Network Beyond Your Comfort Zone: Success leaves clues. The company you keep, meaning the five or ten people you spend the most time with, says a lot about your values and the direction your life will go in. Their personal character, values, goals and habits will influence you over time. Much research has been conducted to prove that we are susceptible to social influences, especially within our inner-circle. 

For this reason, it is important that you network beyond your comfort zone. Pursue experiences that require you to regularly interact with  new people and new ideas. These enriching experiences will expand your knowledge on a variety of subjects, including life and develop your social and emotional intelligence skills. Feeling competent in your ability to handle the unfamiliar enlarges your self-confidence.

In life we may experience disappointment, frustrations and heartache. It comes with the territory. If we develop realistic expectations, cultivate personal excellence and network beyond our comfort circle we can deliberately create greater levels of  peace, satisfaction and well-being in life. And, as a result, we will feel much more confident and capable to take on the tasks and challenges we face on the path to achieving our goals.

It’s Your Move ~ Aspire Higher